THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
