Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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