hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize