Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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