he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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