and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
