Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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