As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He felt like a one man threesome
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
