Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
