i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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