you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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