I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
