She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
