dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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