roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
