Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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