haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
