I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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