hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Don't EVER smell your tampon
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
