She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
