Already got asked if we're dating
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
