If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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