It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
