i barfeds in our rink
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you made out with another girl for some wings
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
