There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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