Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
