you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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