im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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