If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
