I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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