Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
barbara walters just said penis...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
