I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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