You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
40s are totally the cure
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
