We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Help me help you realize you are a moron
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
