you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
