Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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