well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
