I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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