we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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