I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
birth control should be required to get into college
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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