You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
