clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
