I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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