i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
