I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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