After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
