Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
