We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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