My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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