ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
