He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
