They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
a search helicopter?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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