Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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