My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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