and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
its liver damage thursday
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
